It must be “troll week” here on the internet.
I’ve been lucky and haven’t had to deal with any nonsense, but a lot of people I know have. Everything from trollish comments on their Facebook ads, to haters in groups, to some really lewd comments on my friend’s videos. Enough! Don’t let those annoying people bring you down. Here’s my advice on how to deal with haters and internet trolls.
If you are serious about your mission to help others, then you have to put yourself and your message out there in the world. This will inevitably lead to the occasional hater or internet troll trying to bring you down with negative comments or bad reviews. Those people are out there. The sooner you can accept that and learn to deal with it, the better off you’ll be.
Here’s the low down on how to deal with them:
Step One. Bust the Game
Let me a tell you a story about a hater I had when I was a teen. There was a thug in my town named Pierre. He had it in for me because my girlfriends and I dared to be different. We listened to new wave and punk and dressed accordingly. One day, he and a handful of his friends drove by me and my best friend as we were walking downtown. They were in the back of a pickup truck and started throwing cans at us. After they passed us, they pulled over, got out of the truck and circled really closely around us. He got up in my face and started spewing a bunch of vitriol. I’ve since blocked most of it out except for him calling me a [racist pejorative censored.] You see, the best friend who was with me was black. I tell you, this guy was despicable. He was the ultimate hater. The thing is, we stood our ground. He even spit on me and I dared not move because the chance of us getting beaten was right there. Inwardly I really held my space. Inwardly, I busted his game. I knew this wasn’t about me and it wasn’t about my friend. This was about him and his need to hate and feel powerful. You need to be very clear about what game a hater is playing with you.
Inside, you need to call it. You need to see bullies, haters, and trolls for what they are. Whatever you do, do NOT make up some distorted Law of Attraction story up about yourself. You do NOT attract haters because you have some secret fear or obsession with them. It is NOT about you.
The game is that they WANT you to think it’s about YOU. They WANT to find and exploit your vulnerabilities. They are messing with you by turning it around, and that is the oldest trick in the book! BUST THE GAME. Don’t let them get you looking at you. You know where you start and where you end, and you call that game what it is.
You don’t attract haters because something is wrong with you. Haters are attracted to light. If you are a bright shiny person. If you dare to be different. If you are simply BORN different, you will sometimes attract the attention of negative people.
Step Two. Delete and Block
If you’re a fan of The Holistic Pro show, then you’re probably a healer type of some kind. One thing about us is that we usually have an excess of empathy. Not just an average amount, but we have the kind of empathy that overflows and makes it hard to see where the boundaries should be. When dealing with an internet troll, you need to delete their nasty comments if you can and block them. It’s not censorship. It’s cleaning up garbage on the sidewalk so that you and other people don’t have to step in it.
Step Three. Protect Your Confidence
Again, if you are serious about your mission to help others, then you have to put yourself and your message out there in the world. One of your most valuable assets is your confidence. To throw your hat in the ring as an expert takes a certain amount of confidence just to get started. Most of your REAL confidence? That comes over time as you prove yourself again and again. That earned confidence is gold.
However at each juncture, as you’re growing and trying new things, you may feel vulnerable again. It’s imperative that you surround yourself with positive people who believe in you. If you’re having a weak moment, then maybe it’s not the best time to go on Twitter. Stay off of the internet forums. Don’t check your Yelp reviews. Take a break from all of the noise if you need to sometimes. If your energy is low, take care of yourself first. When your energy is restored, your confidence usually restored as well.
Tell me what you think. I want to hear your story down in the comments. Tell me about a time when you had to deal with an internet hater or a troll and what did you learn from it?. Also, please share this one with your friends. Show them that you’ve got their back. Remember, there are a lot more of us than them.
Jaya Savannah - Chief Inspiration Officer. Strategy Coach for Holistic Businesses. Trainer, speaker, and writer. Spiritually aware, yet street smart. Elephant lover.